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bubbleboy14's blog

thank you for the mammaries

It's been great, guys. Seriously, I'm not kidding here. I've lied a lot in my life, but starting today, I'm turning over a new leaf, a new beginning, new horizons, Verizon Wireless, N Sync's No Strings Attached. Out with the old, in with the new, right? Right. Right? Right.
Right? Blogging is really a pretty good idea. I mean, it's about time someone realized you don't need a dead tree to convey an idea. The next step, I suppose, is just doing away with all these trappings of physical reality and having psychic conference calls, like in the sequel to Dark City that was never made because no one bothered to write a script or even propose a concept.

rejoice

Is iTunes Slowly Dying (http://www.playfuls.com/news_05513_Is_iTunes_Slowly_Dying.html)? I certainly hope so. ITunes sucks so hard, I can barely find the words. I mean, I would obviously never allow that monster to live in my computer, but it has conquered the hearts and minds of millions of computers across the globe, taking up the entire screen, demanding indecent volumes of memory, bringing entire operating systems to their knees.
But a death-rattle has finally escaped her monstrous lips, which can mean only one thing: that people are finally figuring out how to use computers. Never again will anyone submit to the will of iTunes (I want some music, but I don't want to have to go to the store. HMMMMMMMMMM! I don't know! I guess I should go to ITUNES and PAY for my music!). Hah!

iran is kind of bad

Last week, Iran joined the ranks of awful countries that block YouTube. It makes me kind of mad. Iran isn't a very good country, it turns out. I don't mind that they're trying to build a nuke that could kill me and everyone I hold dear, but YouTube is serious business, and I can't respect any nation that prevents her citizens from using it. They also block tons of blogs and basically any website that speaks ill of the current regime. How awful.
The thing is, Iran is a vibrant, youthful country that would benefit from a little more open dialog. I mean, last week Chad imposed some hard-core censorship, but they only did it to stem the massive bloodshed that's spilling into their country from Sudan. But Iran doesn't have those concerns. It's really a pretty stable place. Go figure.

this is sort of funny

How media studies! Some really awesome media-depiction-of-the-news-story stuff is developing right now, as we speak with strangers on aim. This judge was killed in the Gaza Strip earlier today, and the fact that he's a judge is gradually being erased from the factset as more outlets pick up the story.
More and more, he's being called a "rebel" or a "militant." The funny thing is, they substantiate these labels (raaaaaaaaaarely) by indicating that he belongs to Hamas. Hamas, you know, the democratically-elected ruling party in Palestine that strives to preserve an open society with civil liberties in the face of foreign-funded death squads terrorizing their people and antidemocratic international political tactics assaulting freedom on every front, courtesy of everyone's favorite enormous older sister, the United States.

lonelygirl15

So we already outed lonelygirl15. We know she's a fraud. Nevertheless, she haunts us to this day. Go to YouTube, and half of the most popular videos refer to her work. Google lonelygirl15, and you get over a million hits.
Anyway, she's spawned this awesome cultural phenomenon that's just getting more and more creative. Some of this stuff is just brilliant. It's really cool that YouTube creates a context in which this sort of thing can happen. Stars pop up overnight. Nobodies do funny things and are recognized for it. Check out some lonelygirl15-inspired videos. I highly recommend lonelyterrorist15:

a message from there-is-no-god

Have you guys ever looked up at the stars and wondered whether Mark Foley would respond if you sent Maf54 an instant message?
It turns out, former Republican Senator Mark Foley is even cooler than I suspected. Why, you ask? What could possibly make him any more awesome than he already clearly is? He's involved with the Church of Scientology!
Scientology is so cool. Those guys are great. I want to be a Scientologist when I grow up. Of course, I'll have to become a millionaire first. But once those two criteria are met, it will be smooth sailing. Rich Scientologists have armies of slaves. It's so great. They should just call their religion "capitalism."

omg wal-mart

Wal-mart is brilliant. I just found out that they sell CDs for under 10 bucks, and they make record companies sell them CDs for under the normal market price. Isn't that awesome? They're like this enormous baby that always gets her way.
Wal-mart is awesome. It's so big, it boggles the mind. And it's really smart, too. They don't profit at all from the CDs, but everyone goes there for the music and ends up buying all the other cheap junk they sell. They are just plain awesome.
I know they destroy local economies and put mom and/or pop stores out of business, but they provide cheap goods and jobs for working-class people. Right? Right.

robbie conal

Oh man, that guy sounds so cool. There's nothing I respect more than vandalism. If there is a more complete demonstration of disregard and contempt for the concept of property, I'd like to see it. I mean, I guess this guy mainly works with posters, but hey, that's a start, right?
Do you guys remember the homework assignments in Fight Club? Those were so cool. They just went out and destroyed everything in a very cold, methodical way. It was great. Those guys are American heroes.
:-*

bubbleboy14

Good call, ghostwriter. I think this is an issue that really needs to see the glorious light of day. I go by bubbleboy14 because I took a bubble bath when I was a baby, and have since been known as "bubbleboy." Additionally, I got the internet when I was 14, so "bubbleboy14" was my first aol screen name.
This screen name has seen a lot of action, no kidding. It was bubbleboy14, after all, who first talked to strangers on the internet.
:-*

circumcision

Oh please. I just read that the American government -- no doubt, in conjunction with the campaign to do away with condoms -- is now pushing circumcision on the rest of the world. This is really funny. We're the only country that mutilates the majority of our penises for non-religious reasons. Circumcision is an artifact of the 1870s, when an ignorant medical culture, dominated by American Medical Association heavyweights like Rhode Island Leutenant Health Commissioner Charles Chapin, who claimed that it was "more important to remove adenoids from the child that it is to remove ashes from the back yard; Georgian hero-surgeon Robert Battey, who performed ovariotomies and clitoridectomies on hundreds of women to alleviate symptoms as varied as backache, anxiety, depression and female hysteria (possibly the biggest joke ever: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria); and Lewish Sayre, who circumsized hundreds of young boys who suffered from paralysis, lunacism, brass poisoning and just about every other mental or physiological condition you can think of, not to mention the social diseases of homosexuality and excessive masturbation, with appallingly low success rates and an enormous following of doctors hungry to perform easy, lucrative procedures.