the unhappy consciousness and attachment

Even though in our reading I tend often to regard much of this theory as, whether it's intended to be so or not, having more to do with other theory than real life, ultimately one has to compare theoretical ideas with lived experience. It's always nice after all to be able to sort of have an idea of whether what you think someone is arguing squares with your impression of reality or not. With Butler's theory, however, it's very hard for me to tell; I guess I don't feel in touch enough with my lived psychic experience to be able to get a feel for how Butler's (as well as other theorists ideas she presents) ideas relate to my own life. In the case of Hegel's 'unhappy consciousness', I find it hard to tease apart any essential/changeable divides in my own consciousness to examine any kind of latent feelings of death-panic, or of the scorn for the death-bound, inessential part of my being. Which is not to say that I don't find the theory cogent and interesting, or with no relation to the real world; I think it's application to fanatical religious devotion is fascinating, and offers explanations for strange patterns around this phenomenon that I hadn't thought to consider before. The rhetoric of a corporeal, death-bound body is an extremely common one in evangelist rhetoric, and self-loathing is a strange edge I've picked up from people who've attempted to convert me to paths of righteousness over the years. I simply have a hard time delving deep enough into my consciousness to have an opinion on whether Hegel's theory here describes my own lived psychic experience.